I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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