..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize
