you would pick up someone in the library
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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