he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
