We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Randomize
