oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
