my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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