He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
