She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
