So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
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