That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
