Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
