You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Randomize
