was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize