the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
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