wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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