I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Just cropdusted the office
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Randomize