i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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