my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
Fuck appropriateness.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
