just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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