On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Randomize
