im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Randomize
