I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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