She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I enjoy the company of your penis
Randomize
