peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
I don't think brook has ever known best
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
