I wanna passion pit in your ass
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
No subtext here. People are naked.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Randomize