when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize