wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
My bed smells like the plague
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
