As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
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