my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
