Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
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