4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Randomize