Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize