im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
