So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize