She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
