in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
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