everyone is single if you try hard enough
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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