i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Randomize
