Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
My underwear smells like fireworks.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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