It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Are my feet made of real feet?
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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