Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
