yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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