Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
