OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
