I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
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