Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
