She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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