I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
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