Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
dude i'm inner monologue high
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Randomize
