Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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