I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
