Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
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