physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Randomize
