I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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