i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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