Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
I'm eating all of the evidence.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
