She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize
