We won't sleep together?
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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