I will die if light touches me.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Randomize
