You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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