I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize