I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Randomize
