I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize