Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
