Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
