When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
The air was thick with penises
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Randomize
