I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
