thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
