ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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