Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
i think i have herpe
just one?
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
