the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
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