We're facebook friends in real life
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
