My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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